Dating your ex is like poll men dating big women

Most importantly, I prefer pouting to smiling, and I’ve never posted an “inspirational” quote with a shimmery background in my life.

On the rare occasion I do post words on to social media outlets, it’s a wicked societal commentary, rich with sarcasm.

I’m closed-off by nature, but in this relationship, I exposed the vulnerable parts of myself that up until that point had been pressed tightly up against my chest.

Together, we held hands on long plane rides to different countries, embarked on a colorful spectrum of adventures, saw new things with fresh eyes, staved off old demons and built a life. Sometime around month two of our breakup, I had heard from a friend of a friend my ex was “seeing” a new girl.

You need a surplus of other things: a cohesive vision of the future, in-sync timing, heaps of respect, unbreakable trust -- all of which we lacked. Our lives had become immensely intertwined, and both of us suffered seemingly endless waves of an impenetrable sadness that incessantly washed over us.

It was my first love, and I didn’t think I would ever be capable of experiencing that kind of intimacy again.

This rule is almost never stated or enforced among queer communities.

If you're gay, you will almost inevitably date a friend's ex at some point.

In my mind, she was free of the endless stream of torturous thoughts that seem to perpetually tug at the strings of my heart at all times. I both envied and hated her simplicity, the way in which she posted basic pictures of boring sunsets and pink cocktails in plastic cups -- and most of all, the uncomplicated relationship she appeared to be having with ex.They seemed to forever be engulfed in sandy dive bars wearing flip-flops and living out the American Dream.I began to question the qualities I had once appreciated about myself: the unrelenting drive, the feistiness, the fierce opinions and irrepressibly outspoken nature.I’m not sure how it happened -- maybe time the great healer, the wise grounding force bringing us safely back to the solid ground of reality when we’ve temporarily lost ourselves in the throes of heartbreak.I began to realize everything I had concluded about this girl was built on the false foundation of her social media presence. Through the empty vessels of Instagram, Facebook and now Snapchat, we project to the world the life we wish we lived, not the actual life we’re living.

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I was convinced I would never recover from my heartbreak, and neither would my partner. But the sick, twisted reality about falling in love is at some point, one of you will inevitably fall for someone else. I tried to avoid wrapping my brain around the idea and live in the protective bubble of denial -- until I found myself in a drunken state crying intoxicated tears into my best friend’s lap at a 2 am party.

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  1. When you sit down, don’t immediately pull out your mobile phone or book. When you are out with a dog or young child, there is a natural and comfortable energy about you.